Winning Hard Conversations
Stan Saunders • May 29, 2025
Conflict is a natural part of any relationship...
but it doesn't have to be constant or explosive. With the right tools, you can actually grow closer through tough conversations. Here's how to win the hard talks — not by overpowering someone, but by strengthening the connection.
1. Assume Nothing. Communicate Everything.
Stop expecting people to “just know.” That’s not fair. That’s not helpful. If it matters, say it.
🗯️ “They should know” is unrealistic.
💬 Until you believe you've over-communicated, you’ve probably under-communicated.
Be clear. Be specific.
💡 “I love you” is great.
❤️ “I love you because you always look out for me” is even better.
2. Keep Your Cool (Always)
Yelling never helps — it only escalates things.
📖 Proverbs 15:1–2 (NLT)
“A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.”
Take a breather. Walk, run, hit a golf ball, play pickleball — whatever helps you reset before continuing.
3. Mind Your Words
Avoid trigger phrases like:
🚫 “You always…”
🚫 “You never…”
Instead, try:
✅ “It bothers me when this happens.”
✅ “How can we handle this better next time?”
✅ “What can we do going forward?”
Use “we”, “us”, and “this” more than “you” and “me.”
4. You Don't Have to Win
If you're keeping score or building a case every time there's a disagreement, you may “win” the argument — but lose the relationship.
💔 When one person always has to win, you both lose.
5. Listen First. Really Listen.
Don’t listen just to reload and respond.
Listen to understand.
Pause.
Then speak.
6. Gratitude Changes Everything
👏 Express it. Often.
Gratitude is powerful for both the giver and the receiver. It shifts your focus and brings light into the conversation.
What you praise is more likely to be repeated.
TL;DR 💬
Conflict is part of life. But how you handle it can either damage or deepen your relationships. Speak kindly. Listen fully. Communicate clearly. Be grateful. And remember — you’re on the same team.
#communication#conflict resolution#healthy relationships#relationship advice#emotional intelligence#personal growth#faith and relationships
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